I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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