that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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