I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
third nipple confirmed
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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