Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
