So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
