i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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