She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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