I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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