She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
