it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
