i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Two words: blizzard sex
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
