i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
