We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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