...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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