i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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