How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
