How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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