that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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