Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
