i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
