I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Your penis caused this!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize