well you can't waste a boner
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
