I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
