Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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