he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize