this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We had sex on a dog bed..
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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