You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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