My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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