how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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