everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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