problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
