Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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