Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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