I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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