It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Be still, my beating vagina.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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