So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
