YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize