He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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