If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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