so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
