He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
