I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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