I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize