I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
