Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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