Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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