why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
