I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
