I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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