I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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