yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
