Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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