Screwed.edu
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
