well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
