Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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