no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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