You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
More tranny stories later!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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